The Realization

Today, I came to a point of realization.

It wasn't anything more than a simple thought, an insight. I realized I have to get back to my growth in full. I went off the path a little. Yes, I;ve been getting better with girls and everything but it hasn't been coming from a place of drive. It's just been happening. Yes, it is a result of the previous work I've put in but I can't settle. I am no where near my goal.

I sat and thought about where I am heading. It was at around 12:30 am that I knew once again. My goal: writer/designer for the London Based GQ magazine. That is a long way ahead for sure. But just knowing that, knowing I have somewhere I wish to go is enough. I know full well that on my way there I will add more goals, learn more things, adapt my personality and such. And yes, when I get there, there be another thing I want to accomplish. For some, this would be stupid. "Just live," I hear it in my head now. I am down to just live and enjoy life but not without a purpose. I know I am not who I am today due to just living. I had a goal. I know that I wouldn't trade those tough times that got me here for anything.

It's all very small. The changes are slow and steady. It's only every once in a while that abrupt and intense change occurs. Most people spend more of their time worrying about how hard the path will be, how long it will be. There is a simple quote that distill all those excuses.

"Every journey begins with the first step."

It's so easy to stand there, complaining about how long the walk to the store will be and how much time it will take. I've come to realize the more I complain about the situations, the longer anything takes.

Excuses are so useful for just living. Excuses allow you to rationalize anything you want. I can find an excuse to not go to class for the rest of the day. I can find an excuse to drop out of school. It's as easy as focusing my thoughts on the negative. I can't do that to myself, I wouldn't let myself do that. I know the world is full of opportunity. I rather not limit myself with negative thoughts and bullshit when the world already does a fine job of that.

It is with that that I list my goals for the rest of the year. And already excuses have starting creeping into my head. Nonetheless, I choose what I focus on.
Here are the goals...

Write every day on this blog, no matter what time or how long or how tired I am
Work out every other day at the recreational center
Live life with purpose
Make choices and face all fears
Work hard in school as in studying everyday for at least an hour (def more than that anyway)


These are really simple and some are kind of vague. Nonetheless they are goals, hence a start.

So until tomorrow, I give my love.

Marvel