The Sweet Sound

The sheer passion in the eyes of great men and women.
The sheer power that flows from their being. Power that they take no claim to, power that they don't understand. Power that they just are thankful for.

My heart have not seen beauty like hers in a long time. It was striking. So when I open my mouth to speak. It wasn't me speaking. No, no. That would just be too sad. This deserved much much more. And it received that.

Inside I smile. It felt so simple, such ease and simple flow. The choice to let go and be. The choice that emphasize beauty and love over mere appearance. It flooded my veins. Body moving in motion and flow that can't be denied.

I express the sheer power that flowed from the love I felt. The one I can't explain. The one that stands tall but yet invisible.

I am letting go of it all. I can't possibly hold on to mere appearance when such love and beauty knocks at my door. No more facade to prove anything. Love and beauty that I've felt from day one. The same love and beauty, I hid for mere appearance. The same that I went in search of because I thought I lost it. The same that I've always had. Love and Beauty. I am who I am. Something I will never fully comprehend but accept and love.

I am glad and awed that I have this love and beauty in me, ready for expression in everything I do.

Desire Back In Full Force

The most interesting thing that happened over the period of not blogging was I lost a huge sense of desire and hunger.

It was essentially a part of losing ego aka being on the path to enlightenment. In reality, it was just another way of building a second ego. Basically, it doesn't matter what I desire. As long as I don't put unnecessary value on them. In truth, I am tired of not wanting anything anymore. It is way too boring.

So I am going for it big time. The funny thing to me is despite trying to not desire things, amazing things still came. Now I wonder what will come my way when I actually put my mind to it. Only time will tell. All I know is I am going for it. The hunger is back. I lost 6 pounds in the last month. Not cool. Scary.

Either way, I am ready and able to go the distance. It is about time. I'm well rested. I see a lot, matured from the experience. See doubt, fear and worry invade my mind. Done amazing things with those there. I am ready to do great things.

I still desire greatness. I still desire to be on top. Who cares if I lose. I rather lose going for it, living life to the max, balls to the wall. Then just chilling. Best thing about the period of no desire, I learned to clear my mind of desire. It has hidden advantages.

No Ego, Just Heart.

Until next time
Marvel

Time Has Past

It's definitely been a while. I decided to stop blogging because I wanted to figure some things out. Since the last time I blogged, things occur.

I sort of fell in love. It was harsh. At first, it was vague then it got real. The real hit hard. I was crushed. Either way it was what it was. I just have to be wiser about my life, what I do and think.

I went on a week of overcompensating which lead to a promoted to marketing manager at the television station. I am definitely excited because I am the first. I get to work on my leadership skills. Fun fact, whenever I am interviewing someone I ask random questions. One of which is always "tell me a knock knock joke" I hired two great guys, who work hard and have great leadership potential. It definitely is a good way to work hard of my biggest goal now - leadership.

I gained better insight into enlightenment which can be a vague topic. It led to a better understanding of myself as a person. I am working on reaching a high level of awareness. It is a fun experience that brings new insights along the way.

I stop approaching girls a lot. Now its more like one a month maybe. I lost a bit of my drive. This is due to my goal of enlightenment which is no easy fit apparently. Though lately I have getting back to my usual form of high drive and purpose. Definitely going back to see my mom and getting away from college will help.

I feel like I lost deep friendships. I am still friends with everyone I was friends with and even more. But I feel now my friendships are very surface. Blame can't be placed anywhere really. Just a lot of different things occurring. This is definitely an interesting period of my life.

My creativity level feels very high now though. I can't say much about that. I don't know why really.

I realize I want love. I realize this week actually that it may be for the wrong reason. That reason being that I feel that if I find love I am worthwhile that I have become who I want to be. This feeling was probably heighten by the lost of girl who I felt I cared for a lot and in the end, it seem she never really cared about me. So that messed with my head. And I push off self serving bias i.e. i didn't place blame on her or just label her. I really thought about it deeply and my ego twisted the situation to a point where i felt like I was not worth it. It definitely crashed me. It was also a reason why I wanted to become enlightened which is in essence losing all attachment of all things. Once again, it definitely isn't easy.

Well thats enough for now. I will be writing regularly on the blog again. Much love. I am looking forward to providing the world with the intense love I once did with my actions and feelings towards life.

Marvel