Time Has Past

It's definitely been a while. I decided to stop blogging because I wanted to figure some things out. Since the last time I blogged, things occur.

I sort of fell in love. It was harsh. At first, it was vague then it got real. The real hit hard. I was crushed. Either way it was what it was. I just have to be wiser about my life, what I do and think.

I went on a week of overcompensating which lead to a promoted to marketing manager at the television station. I am definitely excited because I am the first. I get to work on my leadership skills. Fun fact, whenever I am interviewing someone I ask random questions. One of which is always "tell me a knock knock joke" I hired two great guys, who work hard and have great leadership potential. It definitely is a good way to work hard of my biggest goal now - leadership.

I gained better insight into enlightenment which can be a vague topic. It led to a better understanding of myself as a person. I am working on reaching a high level of awareness. It is a fun experience that brings new insights along the way.

I stop approaching girls a lot. Now its more like one a month maybe. I lost a bit of my drive. This is due to my goal of enlightenment which is no easy fit apparently. Though lately I have getting back to my usual form of high drive and purpose. Definitely going back to see my mom and getting away from college will help.

I feel like I lost deep friendships. I am still friends with everyone I was friends with and even more. But I feel now my friendships are very surface. Blame can't be placed anywhere really. Just a lot of different things occurring. This is definitely an interesting period of my life.

My creativity level feels very high now though. I can't say much about that. I don't know why really.

I realize I want love. I realize this week actually that it may be for the wrong reason. That reason being that I feel that if I find love I am worthwhile that I have become who I want to be. This feeling was probably heighten by the lost of girl who I felt I cared for a lot and in the end, it seem she never really cared about me. So that messed with my head. And I push off self serving bias i.e. i didn't place blame on her or just label her. I really thought about it deeply and my ego twisted the situation to a point where i felt like I was not worth it. It definitely crashed me. It was also a reason why I wanted to become enlightened which is in essence losing all attachment of all things. Once again, it definitely isn't easy.

Well thats enough for now. I will be writing regularly on the blog again. Much love. I am looking forward to providing the world with the intense love I once did with my actions and feelings towards life.

Marvel